Tribute to Nancy

 I had written this in December of 2020 but failed to publish it here, so want to do that now. Like many people, 2020 was a blur and a time of loss of varied kinds. 

Thank you to all the friends and family who came to the visitation and services for my mother-in-law, Nancy. Please continue to pray for the family. November and December usually bring a lot of activity for our family, as many of our birthdays and anniversaries fall from Thanksgiving-time through the New Year (including my wedding anniversary, which is today), so this year will be a time of adjustment. Jay and Nancy would have celebrated their 62^nd wedding anniversary later this month.

Nancy was a gentle and quiet soul. In the years I knew her, I never saw her speak in anger. She once told me that she was often misunderstood because people would mistake her quietness for standoffishness, but those who understood her knew of her kindness. I hope that my children remember this about their grandmother, how patient and calm she was with everyone. She was a thoughtful person, paying attention to small details about people, which I suppose she was good at because she was so quiet.

Nancy was first and foremost a follower of Jesus.  She was also an accomplished pianist and organist, so it is no surprise that she shared that extraordinary talent with her church family for many wonderful years. I feel like playing the organ is an unusual gift and a great one to share.

She developed deep and lasting friendships within her Dorcas group at Sugar Grove Bible Church. These faithful women raised their children and celebrated life’s ups and downs together over the course of several decades.  I have been blessed to know many of these lovely ladies myself. Nancy continued to share her love of Christ as she grew older through devoted service to children’s ministry, Sunday School, and Vacation Bible School, and by caring for the children of a neighbor who were also a part of her church family, all of whom grew to love her deeply. 

Nancy was an expert gardener and member of several gardening groups. Her flower gardens were always beautiful and brought pleasure to many people, including the caretaker herself, who painstakingly planted and tended from spring until fall each year.  She also donated her gardening talents to several charities and gave generously from her gardens to friends and family. I am proud to have many of her flower gifts in my garden, and they will remain a lovely reminder of her each year when they bloom.

Nancy also had an adventurous streak, learning to snow ski as an adult, something she enjoyed with all three of her kids. She skied in Switzerland. She went on annual ski club trips with her son Jeff into her early sixties. She also fought and beat cancer during those years. I saw her as a person who was willing to try new things.

After my mother’s untimely death, Nancy was faithful about asking after me and my dad and patiently listening. Few people reached out to us after our loss, as I suppose many people feel inclined that “they don’t know what to say.” However, Nancy understood that she didn’t need to say anything, just listen. Occasionally she would share a story about her mother, signaling she understood the importance of my loss. She knew that certain deaths create a small space that cannot be completely healed in this life, whether a day or a decade later.

She and my husband Jon shared a little ritual between them around pink flamingos. How it started is a story for another time, but it became a tradition that whenever we were traveling, he would purchase a flamingo souvenir which he would tuck into her flower garden, hide on a shelf, or hang on her Christmas tree. She would discover it later, and they could share a laugh or two.  We had more than one show up within our yard or home as well.  It is stories or traditions like this that tether us to someone after they are gone. I will always think of Nancy when I see a pink flamingo or a pretty flower garden.

Nancy came from a warm and down-to-earth family who quickly welcomed me into their clan. I have fond memories of my first meetings with them and how much “the aunts” doted over me and my children through the years. It has been sad to watch her generation dying off, one by one. I can imagine that Nancy felt that same loss and was looking forward to many reunions.

Nancy’s final year in this life was a difficult one. Early in 2020, memory loss brought about a move to a charming, well-appointed one-bedroom assisted living apartment lovingly decorated by her daughter Jill to recreate as much as the home environment she was leaving. However, we could never have anticipated what was coming with the pandemic and the lockdowns of facilities like hers, nor the rapid deterioration caused by months of isolation and loneliness that would follow. Only a handful of in-person visits, always behind masks at a distance. Brief phone or video calls, peering through a window. Not the best memories for children and grandchildren, and certainly not for her. Later, there was a fall, which so often hastens death in older people.

I wish I could say that Nancy did not suffer. The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians that he knew how to be both full and hungry, and prosperous and needy, proclaiming that he could do ALL things through Christ. The “all things” he spoke of were these contrasting experiences of good and evil. We cannot understand joy without sadness, but Christ will strengthen us. I am glad that Nancy had that strength.

So, while Nancy departed this life in difficulty, we are comforted to know that her next sight will be the face of Jesus, as well as those she has loved and lost.  We are also glad she is healed and at peace and look forward to our own homecoming with her someday. All the plusses and minuses considered, hers was a life well-lived.

 

Emotional Boundaries - Do We Need a Wall?

Back before kids, I had a career. I worked with broken people. One of the things we often spoke about were boundaries.

All this talk in the political arena about "building a wall."  What about the walls that protect our mental health?  What are emotional walls and how do we defend them?

Assertive, passive or aggressive behavior is how we go about getting our needs met in relation to the others--and thus establishing mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries. 

Boundaries are often established in our family of origin and they can be difficult to define. let alone change.  Basically, they are an understanding that I am not you.  They can be manifest emotionally when I feel responsible for you—like when mom gets embarrassed by the behavior of a child who has his own will.  They can also be manifest in the understanding or lack of understanding that it’s okay to be different and not value the same things—like someone who thinks all people should own dogs and cat people are strange.

Regardless of where you fall, behaviorally, we defend or deny those boundaries every day through our through assertive or nonassertive behavior.

Which do you think you are?

Assertive people tend to be able to make their needs or wishes known clearly but will accept a “no” for an answer, and the give and take of occasionally yielding to others’ needs.
Aggressive people can also make their needs or wishes known but tend to struggle with disregarding the needs of others. They place their needs first.

Passive people tend to do the opposite. They place the needs of others above their own, sometimes becoming accustomed to not having any expectations at all.

Here’s how it might play out:

Three people want to go to dinner. Assertive Bert would like Chinese, but if the group picks something else he won’t mind, knowing he might get to pick the restaurant the next time.

Aggressive Ned wants Italian. Ned isn’t interested in what the others want, so he presses for his restaurant until the others agree. Passive Lenny would like Mexican, but once he hears the others want something different, he says nothing and just goes along with the crowd.

Wait! Did I forget to mention there’s a fourth type?

In comes Passive Aggressive Peter. Peter wants to try a new 24-hour Deli, but they have already settled on Italian. He agrees. They set a time to meet, but Peter shows up late, so they miss their reservation. Then he suggests the Deli. If he’s more practiced, he might instead tell the group what a rough week he has had, and how he was really looking forward to a deluxe cheesesteak sandwich to make it all better, but he understands, they have already picked Italian, without him. He will wait for someone who feels badly to suggest the Deli and he will cheerfully agree.

Passive Aggressive people are aggressive people disguised as passive. Passive Aggressive people seem to be easy going on the surface because they go along, but they use manipulation, guilt, subtle shaming or any number of other techniques to trick people into doing what they want.

Passive Aggressivity is particularly problematic because while the Aggressive person is obvious about placing their needs first, the Passive Aggressive person is accomplishing the same thing by covert means. Another difficulty with Passive Aggressive behavior is that it is difficult to confront. When someone is being Aggressive, you can point it out, sometimes reason with them. Often people don’t realize they are being manipulated by a Passive Aggressive person until later when they feel played. It is quite difficult to address because it is always disguised.

It is also important to consider that narcissism and passive aggressiveness tend to be associated. The passive aggressive person is self-focused and genuinely sees no problem with his or her behavior. In fact, they often see themselves as peacekeepers and play the martyr role when someone confronts them with their behavior.

This is a prevalent behavior in dysfunctional families. Family members do not possess the proper tools to defend their needs and often it is because the parents have set up a win-lose mentality on most things. It can be borne of families with narcissistic parents as well.

As an aside, Type A narcissists tend to be aggressive in-your-face types, while Type B narcissists tend to be passive aggressive and fine sitting back and being superior.

We are all capable of each of these behaviors.

I have found myself being passive then resentful later. I have been aggressive when I felt threatened. I have acted passive-aggressively when faced with people who wouldn’t listen or compromise.

I think this is particularly important to all people because it plays out in every aspect of our lives.  People with clear boundaries tend to be happier, have stronger relationships, and are less likely to struggle with depression and anxiety.

People who establish clear boundaries still get played, and my experience is that some people will push as far across the line as they can get away with but knowing this and being emotionally prepared to address it make a big difference. 

Each of us needs to know who we are as individuals outside our roles as employees, students, spouses, parents, siblings or friends.  You need to establish what belongs in each role and what doesn't and make sure you don't let people invade your personal space.

You also need to acknowledge that everyone is different, and that is okay.  What I value, you may not. Healthy boundaries mean I can let you be you and I am okay being myself as well.  If everyone were alike, only did what pleased themselves, and never got exposed to new ideas or unique people, the world would be quite boring indeed.I hope you will think about these things.  It takes time, but being surrounded by healthy, loving people makes a difference.  Life can be messy.  It’s so much easier getting through it together.

Speaking the Truth in Love

“Love without truth is sentimentality; truth without love is harshness” – C.S. Lewis

I came across this quote recently, and it resonated deeply with me, mainly because I am observing that our culture appears to be losing not only its understanding in matters of truth, but its desire for genuine and brotherly love.

On the one hand, if we love someone but are never fully honest with them, what do we end up with?  As Lewis says, it is mere sentiment—a shallow relationship at best.  While this is emotionally safe, because it avoids conflict, it also eliminates the possibility of any meaningful intimacy. There is a level of trust involved in authentic conversation that cannot take place when we consistently “play it safe.”

Notice that I did not say, “give your opinion.”  There is a distinction.  Plenty of people hold no quarter to raining their opinions freely upon everyone—regardless of it being wanted.  Good manners mean no unsolicited advice.  This is tricky territory in the age of social networking, where trolling and opinion sharing are the modus operandi.  But in that setting, opinions are expected; if you are easily offended, it is guaranteed you will be.  The good news is—just like this opinion piece—you can close your browser and move on.

The problem is nearly always the gap between fact and opinion, a disparity which is unmistakable in this current heated political climate.  When we share an idea, we must carefully consider, with all intellectual honesty, if what we are about to say, or not say, is a matter of fact, or our personal perception.  This is increasingly difficult in an age where fewer people have a final authority, such as a faith, or any objective philosophy, and therefore act according to their individual reality. It also creates a broader grey area—that gap between right and wrong, opinion and fact.

But some truths are self-evident, are they not? As a Christian, that especially pertains to the greatest commandment, which is loving one another. For us, instructions about speaking the truth in love abound in scripture, but the most important truth we are called to speak is the truth about sin—that it has separated us from our Creator—and how we can be reconciled through His gift of life.  Sharing the Gospel of the Good News of Jesus Christ is the most loving act that a Christian is called to do.  It is true, some will be offended.  Do it anyway.

On the other hand, if we speak our truth, and we are not sincerely motivated in love, what do we accomplish? Harshness. I tell my children frequently that being right is a lonely place. If the truth takes priority over the relationship, there may be no relationship. Honestly, what good is it to know the truth, but use it in a way to hurt others? And how much satisfaction comes from being right if there is no one to share it with?

However, one of the saddest results of political correctness has become our utter disinterest in growth or change. If we love one another, we should genuinely desire to challenge each other be better people.  For example, would you step up and tell a friend if he was doing something wrong, whether it be illegal, immoral or otherwise? Have we become so afraid to offend that we can no longer hold each other to higher standards?  Does the risk of upsetting another person now take precedence over loving them enough to tell them the truth? 

I can remember times when people affronted me with their truth, just as I recall those pivotal moments when someone risked wounding me to push me to do better—and I am grateful.  Had they not been willing to point out a blind spot, I may have taken an entirely different course in life.  And if we are being honest, even if someone tells us a truth we don’t like or disagree with, we know if it is coming from a place of love and respect.  People just know.

So I ask you this:  Are we forfeiting our humanity to meaningless relation?  In the age of selfies and over-stuffed schedules that are implemented at light-speed, have we forgotten the value of an actual hug and kiss?  Do we cautiously tip-toe around each other, but with no real or meaningful connection?  Do we tread upon our fellow man with vigor via social networking, but without regard to the living, breathing soul on the receiving end?

This is also a huge pet peeve I have with the church.  Some have gone the path of never speaking anything that might offend—and so they stand for virtually nothing.  They keep the pews full, but no one grows.  Contrariwise, some have gone to the other extreme, and their haughtiness and self-righteousness has made us all look mean spirited and hypocritical.  In that way, I fear we have become ineffective and often misunderstood.

My grandmother used to have a sign hanging in her kitchen that said, “Old Indian Proverb—Judge no man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”  I loved that saying, and it reminds me that it is in the knowing of a person—the relationship—that we can discern how to help or not help him, because we first understand him.

So, today I challenge you to consider the same.  Risk taking your relationships to a new place—where respect and trust resonate.  Get to know the people around you better.  Love them.  Speak your truth.  Listen to their truth.  Leave your righteousness and harshness behind. 

We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Grace and Peace to you.

A Call to the Classics

It is not unusual to hear a homeschooling mother state that she is redeeming her own education while schooling her children. This has been true for me as well.  While I would say that I received an adequate secondary education, I credit the lion share of my academic success to an early love of reading, sparked by my mother, and later an appreciation for lifelong learning, kindled by my grandmother.  This is one of the key reasons why I chose to homeschool, and specifically why I chose the Classical Model of education.

Lately, my desire to redeem my education has been expressed in a renewed interest in poetry and literature.  The art of both storytelling and wordsmithing held an early fascination for me.  Like most children, I loved animals, climbing trees and riding bikes, but I rarely let a day pass without spending time in a book, which inspired me to write more as well. The adventures that I couldn’t achieve in real life I could experience in a book.   

This morning, I found myself rereading The Rime of the Ancient Mariner—this poem is credited for the figure of speech “wearing an albatross around your neck”—which kicked off some thoughts about our reading choices.

The power of language is evident in every culture and every age, but as a classical educator—a classical Christian educator—I acknowledge this more so:  God spoke the world into existence, Jesus was the Word made flesh, and God placed His Word above His own name.  Words not only matter, they are key to wisdom.  I’ve heard it suggested that any reading is valuable reading. To me this is like saying it doesn’t matter what you eat as long as you are eating something.

If food feeds the body, then words feed the mind & soul.  We could, in theory, live on a diet of fast food, but the effects would eventually show up in poor health.  So a steady diet of dime store novels will not produce the same benefits as wisdom saturated literature.  While I confess to having read every mystery by Sidney Sheldon, I still consider it chips and soda pop, whereas the symbolism of Nathanial Hawthorne I regard as steak and a salad.  If the pen really is mightier than the sword, then without a powerful command of our own language, our greatest weapon could become a dull and useless instrument in our hands.

Over the last decade, we have observed an alarming trend where the average conversation includes a generous seasoning of “likes” and “you knows,” and our best communicators’ speeches are riddled with more “ums” than adjectives.  It raises the question, “Has the art and beauty of language completely given way to text-speak and you tube video blogs?” 

Perhaps a greater emphasis on language would solve this problem, but while great works of poetry and story-telling do build comprehension and vocabulary skills, they are not just about the mastery of text.  Good books nurture principle and character, propagate moral appetite, challenge our beliefs and influence our manners.  This is because great books are more than stories—the classic stories are inherently moral in their world view. Great works nourish a Godly world view, which is the heartbeat of a classical education.

It is through words on a page—great stories—that we peel the onion of life, those daily pleasures and pains that are common to all men.  Writers help us place order to some of the most intricate puzzle pieces of grief, joy, betrayal, bravery, loyalty and a host of other traits of humanness.  Together, in these marvelously bound volumes, we can pause to consider how we might react in a similar situation, learn from another’s reaction or dilemma, and dig deeper into the great human experience, while encountering the rich depth and complexity of the English language.  In fact, one of the many reasons why I still prefer reading the King James version of the Bible is because of the structure of its poetic speech and its great poetic beauty.   

School is back in session at my house, and I am looking forward to uncovering more great works to share with my children.  However, discovering these great masterpieces is increasingly difficult in an age where juvenile fiction is dominated by titles like Captain Underpants, a favorite of progressive educators who offer dumbed down books as a solution to reluctant readers. A commitment to quality literature is just that, and we may have to be diligent in our search for the stories that speak to the heart and stretch the imagination of our young people.

Do you recall the stories that shaped your early years?  For me it was The Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing that gave me the nickname Boing-Boing.  It was The Lord of the Flies that introduced me to man’s inhumanity to man and the concept that within the natural man dwells no good thing.  The good things—like mercy—come from God.  This I learned from the Holy Bible. There was A Wrinkle in Time with its classic battle between good and evil. Later, there was To Kill and Mockingbird and its complex viewpoints about dignity, racism, and justice, or The Old Man and the Sea which on the surface seemed to be about the war between man and nature, but just underneath we experienced the power and resilience of the human spirit, along with the notion that death doesn’t necessarily equal defeat.

As educators, the classics offer us not only strong language skills, but they strengthen our imagination while infecting us with an appetite for meaning and significance in this life.  It’s never too soon to begin reading these great works—we don’t have to wait until our children are old enough to read—we can share them now through reading-aloud to them.  Many excellent discussions have followed our out-loud reading time.

Sitting with an old classic and a cup of coffee will always be one of my favorite intellectual and inspirational endeavors.  The difference now is that I get the joy of sharing these classics with my children.  Together we can embark on a passage into the ages.  I encourage you to do the same: it will be the journey of a lifetime.

Self-Esteem Building

I have been giving a lot of thought to the idea of self-esteem. The older my children get, the more I hear mention of it. I hear about parents who want to assure their children have the proper amount of it, that is. In considering the meaning of true self-esteem, I first look back to my own childhood. I do not recall ever hearing a term like this mentioned as I was growing up. As a matter of fact, it seems to me that parents were more concerned about us getting "too big for our britches" and knowing our place than they were about us thinking even more of ourselves than we already did. So, as I continue to ponder this notion, I must ask, "What saith the scriptures?"

It turns out that the scripture instructs us to esteem others. No mention of needing to think more highly of ourselves, other than we shouldn't (Rom 12:3). The Word instructs us to esteem others greater than ourselves (Phil 2:3), and to esteem those doing the work of the ministry for their labors (I Thes 5:13). This tells me two things. First, if we are asked to esteem others, then it must not come naturally. Second, esteem should be based on something tangible, such as work.

These two points are important for this reason: our culture has forgotten that people (children) naturally see themselves as the center of the universe, and without any training whatsoever, will naturally esteem themselves over others, and, that praise should be reserved for actual accomplishments. This is an important distinction to me.

While this idea of giving both teams a trophy was designed to spare the losing team the pain of defeat at a tender age, it has really stolen from the victor the feeling of triumph. I suppose as a parent I am expected to continuously tell my children that they are awesome, for fear that they will begin to feel bad about themselves, and become unhappy in life. And this might compensate for the fact that all competition has been removed from their lives in favor of political correctness.

To me, this really cheapens those real moments when the child masters the difficult, faces their fears, pitches in without being asked, rises to the moment, and has every right to experience a moment of pride. I am a believer of praise. I love to encourage my children. I don't however, think I need to bolster my children's self-esteem with any additional accolades, other than the ones they earn.

Shouldn't true self-esteem be the result of actually accomplishing something? And shouldn't our identity as Christians be the result of placing someone else above ourselves and experiencing the fullness that this act produces in our hearts? Do you remember a time in your life when you really felt good about yourself? It was always related to somthing tangible that you had achieved. Do you think that it would have been as powerful a moment for you if you had not really earned it? This is what I think happens when parents falsely pump up their children with excessive praise in an attempt to "make them like themselves."

I can tell my kids all day long that they are the most amazing, awesome, incredible humans that ever walked, but what kind of narcissism will that produce? In truth, sometimes we are shameful examples of people, and measured shame is healthy. We are supposed to approach others with lowliness of mind! (Eph 4:2) This means, we are humble, and we place their needs above our own. The end result of that loving act is a joy and satisfaction that surpasses worldly self-esteem ten fold.

I challenge each of you today to consider the concept of self-esteem, and whether you have bought in to the psychology of "self-like" when it comes to your children, or even yourself. As adults, sometimes we feel as though life has beat us up. This seems more true the older we get and the more experiences (and traumas) we have to endure in life. God tells us that if we truly wish to feel better about ourselves, then we need to get out there and do something for someone else. Our children are watching. They will learn to do the same! What an excellent esteem builder that is.

Grace & Peace, Angie

Lessons from Joseph - How to Grieve

Yesterday I was busy cleaning out my email folder because I got a notice that said it was getting a bit stuffed. Since my account is set up to keep a copy of all sent messages, I first went there and selected all the files and deleted them. Seeing that this didn’t change my file usage any, I realized that I now had to go to my deleted file folder and officially delete them forever. Just as I was paging through them I noticed a big gap in time and some messages from a couple of years ago at the end. It suddenly occurred to me what I had done: I had deleted the last correspondence between my Mom and myself just before she died; messages that I had intentionally left in tact in prior clean-up sessions. Knowing now what I had done, I paged through them, read them one last time, and let them go, as the tears poured down my checks and soaked the front of my shirt.

That evening as I was reading to my children, our Bible story was about Joseph at the time when Jacob and the rest of the family had come to reside in Egypt during the long years of famine. Jacob’s dying wish had been to be buried with his ancestors (Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebekah, and Leah) in a cave that was in the land where God had led them; the land of Canaan. Joseph enquired with the Pharaoh, received permission, and formed a caravan to take his father to the tomb in their homeland as promised.

The embalming of Jacob took 40 days. This Egyptian method of embalming was slow, but effective. After the embalming, there was another 70 days of mourning. Then the caravan transported him to his burial tomb (no telling how long this took), and still Joseph took another 7 days to stop and mourn for his father in his homeland before returning to Egypt. In all, it would likely have taken several months, start to finish. I found this quite interesting. And a far cry from how we say goodbye to loved ones these days! I daresay that our Creator has a better handle on what would constitute ‘bereavement’ than our modern and so-called advanced cultures do. Anyone who has suffered a great loss can tell you that the opportunities to grieve are quite insufficient in this fast-paced, over-scheduled, high stress, society of ours!

I am left to ponder these thoughts within myself. Grief happens in stages, and it can be very slow. I wonder if we were ever allowed to fully embrace it--like Joseph did--if in the long run it wouldn’t have been a shorter, and more healing, way to do it.

~Grace and Peace

Religion & Politics

It is a commonly repeated phrase, "Two things I never discuss: religion and politics." I was thinking about this the other day, and wondering, is this a 'new' or modern viewpoint or has it always been customary to avoid these topics in public conversation? Being a sociologist by both trade and hobby, I had to examine this phenomenon. Turns out, discussion of religion and politics is a fairly new faux pas. Ah, yes, what was I thinking? Political correctness! Whereas it used to be customary for people to share different positions on God and the State, now it is inappropriate and untactful in nearly every setting.

Ancient civilizations all over the globe considered debate essential to the human condition. Education in logic (not mathematical logic, but critical thinking in a broader sense) began in late primary years, and was followed by extensive education in the grammar of Rhetoric, what some would call speech or debate today. Great minds would meet in the public square and reason their ideas for hours. Theologians would gather in the temple and reason from the scriptures for days. Philosophers would wonder from town to town teaching in the streets their ideas, asking peoples to consider new thoughts and ideas, and what shaped them.

This begs the question, how does one ever get to fully develop a viewpoint if they are never to hear any differing ones? I do know some exceptional humans who make a point of exploring various spiritual and political perspectives, but in all honesty, they are a rare exception. Most of us gather our opinions and life view from our parents. As we grow, school becomes our largest influence, and we may garner some additional ideas from our friends. While employers may have some influence, college probably has the largest and most powerful impact on our perspective. Certainly this was my experience. And it is disconcerting for me, as colleges in America are the most liberal institutions in the world. Even the reading has been dumbed down, modified to avoid offending certain peoples, scrubbed of ideas that go against the single-minded viewpoint of the establishment. The professors are unabashed about their intolerance of the traditional, conservative foundations upon which this nation was laid. I was young enough in college that I simply accepted their point of view as fact, and rarely thought more about it. Later, as I matured, I began to hear about and learn other ideas.

My fear as I observe our cultural changes is that my children won't have any opportunity to enter into a debate of ideas because it is no longer acceptable to debate. And since our culture is quickly moving away from any concept of God or faith, the only viewpoint left will be man's viewpoint. Given enough time, the 'polite' method of avoiding politics and religion in any discussion will ensure that not one more human being will get to hear about Jesus Christ and the gift He gave the world with His death. Additionally, anyone who would like to learn about our country's grand heritage of say, The Constitution, would likely be called a dinosaur or an intolerant for straying from the popular viewpoint.

Hmmmm. I want to be optimistic about our future. I would prefer to rejoice in considering the countless joys awaiting the next generation. As I teach my children and prepare them for the Great Conversation, I wonder, "Is that conversation over?" As I watch our economy crumble, our moral fiber disintegrate, and our characters weaken, I cannot help but speculate. The Law of Entropy, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, simply stated, is that things become more disordered over time, unless acted upon by another, more powerful force. We have become passive participants in our political and religious life. Therefore, if nothing is done, chaos is inevitable.

So the next time you see me at a social gathering, don't be surprised if I say, "You'd like to discuss politics and religion? Why of course!"