Ashley Elizabeth Wilson Hofele
Ashley was a most amazing friend and human being. My husband had known Jesse for some years, but we didn't know much about his new wife. I had only spoken to her a few times before I attended a party at her home. I liked her right away. Later that night, after the party, my Mother died unexpectedly. As soon as Ashley heard, she called me to see what I needed. I had to travel out of state to help my Father with arrangements. I asked Ashley if she would look in on my husband Jon who had to take a quick leave from work and stay home with our children, who had just turned 3 and 5. She called several women from church and arranged for meals to be brought to him while I was gone. She even called Jon while I was gone to see if she could help in any other way.
In addition to losing my Mother suddenly, my aunt was dying of cancer. Ashley was concerned for me, and checked in on me often. It was the lowest time in my life. She would send inspiring poems or songs through email, or call to see if I needed to talk. She would offer to watch my children when I needed to visit my aunt. We seemed to be instant friends and grew closer and closer over the next year. Ashley gave me a lot of support, strength and comfort when I really needed it. I knew that Ashley did not have a lot of life experience, but when it came to compassion, she really seemed wise beyond her years.Ashley had a quick and gorgeous smile, an easy laugh, and I enjoyed her immensely. We began a Bible study together and discussed serious issues related to ambassadorship, life, death, and illness. I always said Ashley was a 'Berean.' In the Bible, it was the Bereans that searched the scriptures to find answers to life's questions. Ashley certainly had a lot of questions, and she had a real reverence for the Word of God. If she was struggling with an issue, we studied it out in scripture. If the Bible proclaimed it, then it was settled for her.
Ashley had such a mature attitude about having Lupus, a chronic illness, and said that she had come to accept that she had to approach life differently now. Ashley had a wonderful understanding of her position in Christ and knew that by suffering in dignity she was honoring her savior. I knew that Ashley was suffering, but it wasn't because she complained. I tried to get her to slow down, but she was determined to do what her heart lead her to do...she had a heart for service and love of God that I often admired.
Ashley always spoke highly of her husband and family. She didn't like it when people complained or spoke negatively about the people they loved. She was completely devoted to Joshua. To this day, I cannot figure out how she got so much done and still managed to stay connected to her friends and family on a regular basis! I thought of Ashley like a sister. I can only pray that she really knew how much I respected and cared for her. I still love her!
I wonder if people will think I am exaggerating about what a wonderful person Ashley is now that she is gone? On my kids birthdays this year, she really went out of her way to get them something they would enjoy. And Reese made it hard on her. He wanted a toy fork lift. But she found the perfect gifts and I could really tell my kids appreciated her kindness and felt special when she and Joshua brought them over. Reese actually sleeps with his forklift. Aubrey got an Ariel doll, which of course she sleeps with too, and the Ariel 2 movie. We watched the movie today, and it explains how Ariel's Mother died, and then the King forgot happiness. But the persistent love of his friends and daughter helped him find happiness again. I had no idea this was the story. I wept. Right now, all things will remind me of this loss. As if I need any reminders.
I often encouraged Ashley to take better care of herself. “Get more rest!” I would urge. But nothing could stop her. She had absolutely the most energy of anyone I knew, especially someone with a chronic illness and undergoing immunosuppressive treatment. Ashley often had insomnia, something we had in common. I would be up late, surfing the net, when an instant message would pop up from Ash. “What are you doing up?” I would ask. “Go to bed!” “Oh, you’re one to talk.” She would respond. “Want to take a walk at the reserve tomorrow?” I am missing those requests already. That fabulous “Hiiiiii” greeting on the telephone each day.
What am I going to do without her? If it weren’t for God, I don’t know how I could bear it. Every time I think about her, I feel like I can barely breathe. I think of her devoted husband, her darling son. The unfairness of this life. I think about our last conversation. Just a couple days before she left us. I was on my way out of town to a homeschool convention. Laughing and making plans to meet at her Mom’s new house the next week. Two calls actually…sometimes she would “remember” why she called the first time and call back because we talked so much she had forgotten what it was. I’m going to miss her so much!
Sometimes Ashley would get emotional, but even when her feelings were hurt or she felt offended, she was eager to forgive, and make peace. She wanted to think the best of people. Ashley didn't put up with a lot of nonsense, yet she could be as soft and fragile and as easily bruised as a rose blossom. I’d always tell her “you’re a great person, don’t worry about the little things people say, they don’t know any better anyway.” She’d say “OK. I’ll just pray for them.” Wow! Like her Bible study, Ashley used prayer to grow in her relationship with God and with others, and it showed. She was hungry for growth and it came.
But then Ashley knew that she had something very special: eternal life. Ashley had trusted Jesus Christ for her eternal salvation and she wanted to walk worthy of her gift and share it with everyone who would listen. It is my prayer that her son will grow up and serve our savior, just as his Mother did. In my opinion, Ashley did an amazing thing, something many of us hope to do, but often fall short: she left her world better than she found it.
